Letter To My Son On His 6th Birthday

My Dear 6 Year Old Carter,

Happy happy birthday to my sweet, question filled little boy.

This year as I write this you are doing one of your very favorite things.... Snow skiing here in Breckenridge. It is rare to see you dancing with happiness and this definitely is a sport you are in love with at an early age, which makes for one happy mommy.

I'm in the middle of reading the book Birth Order by Leman and smile from ear to ear reading the descriptors of the typical first born child. You have pretty much nailed the core characteristics of being reliable, conscientious, well organized, critical, scholarly, serious, an achiever, goal oriented, people pleaser and supporter of law and order. And so far been able to avoid the detrimental one of being a perfectionist. (I have a hunch this is in large part due to your super balanced daddy!)

In school, you are now finished with your first four months of Spanish Dual Language of Kindergarten, you have super seceded every expectation we had. On your actual 6th birthday, one of the best presents your daddy could ever give you was being a volunteer WATCH D.O.G. At your school, where he got to spend majority of the day with you in your class. He was shocked at how much Spanish you actually understand and how you answered the teacher's questions quickly, were writing sentences in Spanish and overall just thriving. It made our hearts swell with happiness knowing that the long journey of getting you in this program, that began exactly a year ago, was paying off and following our gut with this program has served to be the absolute best thing for you and our family. Recently, your assessment confirmed enormous growth since your initial nine weeks assessment.

Enough about school, I want you to know how awesome you are in a million other ways. Some of the ways have stayed consistent over the years, like your natural talent at sports and amazing patient love with your sister. Some things have been highlighted more this year, you amazing energy level and passion for math, for example.

Physically, at your 6 year well visit, Dr. McCrae was thrilled with your progress across the board; growth, eating, school, development and health in general, as we are too! Your BMD was in the 61st percentile, your height was 45 inches, and your weight was 47 pounds (both around 50th percentile). You wear a 6X in most things and size 13.5 shoe, just on the verge of crossing to boys size shoes from little boys! You want to a loose a tooth so badly and sometimes say your tooth is starting to wiggle but so far your baby teeth are holding up well!

Carter, you are EVERYTHING to your dad, sister and myself and you make us proud in all that you do. We have loved seeing your confidence continue to blossom and your constant questions you have for everyone grow into well thought out and impressive to your flag football coach about playing defense or to your Uncle Mike about why he is wearing a camel water backpack to the grocery store.

This time in life continues to be so exciting for you as we work diligently to continue introducing you to new life experiences and expose you to the ones you love. A few days before your 6th birthday, you got to go on your first "camping/kinda hunting" trip with your dad, Uncle mike and Easton to Abilene. Even though you didn't see any live animals, you were enamored with getting up early and sitting in the blind patiently waiting for the deer. Then, just a couple of days after your birthday, Pops took you and daddy to Pearsal where you saw huge amounts of deer and enormous ones at that. Even though your daddy missed the big 12 pointer, you fell even more in love with the sport and time together with you dad and Pops, in nature. Eating at the nearby Hungry Hunter was another fun and exhausting first, all at the same time.

... and five minutes after the above picture was taken with Pops, this was you...

Your love for your seventeen month younger sister is still very evident as you allowed her to open many of your own birthday presents last week to make her feel included. And when your daddy picked you up at your first full day of ski school lessons, while in Breckenridge after Christmas,you were so excited to show him what you had learned but your very first words to him were, "Where is Addie?"

(input Addie and him hugging after skiing)

You still love to cuddle with me and since I am thirty-one weeks pregnant with your new little brother or sister, you love feeling the baby kick in my belly and you understand so much about the baby, like how it gets food from the umbilical cord and breathes when I do. You are one super sharp little man.

Besides being sharp, you remain sensitive in a heartwarming way. Last week you were playing your brand new game of Shrek Operation with Addie and daddy, concentrating so incredibly hard that when your tweezers touched the metal edge and the entire game shook and lit up, you emotionally lost it. You were so shaken, you came and crawled next to be in bed in the fetal position and just wanted to cuddle with me.

I love you my sweet and energy filled little boy and I'm pretty confident you know it by the amount of times I tell you every day but just in case you ever forget, you have these words to look back on.

With more love than you know,

Mommy

"Sibling Love" at Nearly 6 and 4 1/2 Years Old

11.21.12

Once again, where is the "pause" button in life for these two??? I keep asking them!!

Carter's Top 10 @ 6 Years Old (#5-1)

This is a continuation of Carter's TOP 10 THINGS ABOUT CARTER @ 6 Years Old. (See previous post.)

5. Spirit Sticks:
These three inch pieces of fabric have become quite the phenom in elementary school's across this city and I'm sure the rest of the nation. It's unbelievable what kind of positive reinforcement they are. The kid's get one for doing different things like bringing in Box Tops, participating in the district's Reflections art contest or when Blake came and was a WATCH D.O.G. for the school.  At least one of two times a month, they can buy one for $1.00. Carter can only use his money to purchase them if he has been good all week. His Aunt Julie helps reward him when she catches him doing something good, too!

4. Sports:
This year alone, as Carter gets ready to embark on his 4th straight winter season of basketball in just a couple of weeks, tried out two brand new team sports - baseball (he skipped T-ball all together) and his new favorite we are about to wrap up his first year of - Flag Football! We all LOVED watching him play and although he is at an age filled with energy and questions, he really got the game and his favorite part was getting those flags!

3. His memory and love of math:
Carter's memory has always stood out to us... but as a parent how much of that is him just being a regular kid vs. something really unique. The past several weeks have confirmed that he's got something amazing going on in that little brain.
Examples:

• He still talks of specifics from our Disney World trip from 1 year and 9 months ago, when he was barely four years old.
• We mentioned going to the city of Phoenix for Thanksgiving and he said, "we stopped there on our way home from skiing last year." (That was a one hour lay over at the airport 9 months ago.)
• Last time we were in Tyler at the zoo, he said, "last time I was here at the zoo with Meme, it was raining so hard." (That had been over a year before.)
• While on recent hunting trip with dad, it was pitch black and Blake couldn't find the deer blind. Carter said, "I can find it and with in 3 minutes found it perfectly."

His love of math: For several months, we had been noticing Carter's affinity for math always wanting us to ask him addition and subtraction problems whenever we could, on his list of homework, anything math was what he always wanted to do first, etc... It wasn't until his first ever Parent/Teacher conference 9 weeks into the school year that his unbiased teacher proactively approached his recommending he be tested for GT classes because of it. Since then, we have had fun encouraging it even with some super cool birthday and Christmas presents. Just today, at his 6 year old, well visit appointment, he wanted me to use his new "Boogie Board" to write out 20 math problems for him to do while we waited for the doctor to come in. We're about to start teaching him some multiplication.

2. His energetic, sweet, kind hearted, people-pleasing personality:

I am so happy to say that Carter's first half of his Kindergarten year hasn't ruined him as my amazing, cuddly, senstive little boy. I was afraid of new negative influences around him in the unknown new friends he would have but they haven't had a chance to greatly influence or change him. He still wants to be with me, Addie or daddy any chance he can. Doesn't mind watching Wild Kratts or his sister's Barbie or Tinkerbell movie for the 10th time in the car. He isn't obsessed with video games and the occasional ipad game on the weekend, makes him happy! He still will hug us any chance he gets and doesn't care what he wears. I couldn't be more proud of the little man he is slowly but very steadily becoming!

1. His love of FAMILY and HELPING.

The number one thing Carter wants is to spend time with his dad, mom and sister. He is constantly asking what he can do to help us. Recently, he has had his very first camping and hunting experience with his dad, Uncle Mike and Easton near Abiliene. This afternoon he just embarked on his second real hunting trip with his dad and Pops to Pearsal. Most days my mouth drops at his generosity to Addie, allowind her to choose what movie they watch or game they play. He even allowed her to open most of his birthday presents, just sitting patiently next to her as she tore into them. Any chance he gets, which is a lot more now that I am thirty weeks pregnant, he loves to crawl up into my bed and just cuddle with me.

For his early morning 6th birthday breakfast, Carter chose to have a PB&J for breakfast... now that was a first!

Carter's Top 10 @ 6 Years Old (#10-6)

Today, Carter, is your one and only 6th birthday and as crazy-busy as life is, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE how I force myself to stop and take time to take my own mental snap shot and attempt to FREEZE you for a moment in time. I look forward to this time every year because I make a point to remember the tiniest things about you and reminisce along with your dad the recent stories and ways you surprise and continue to amaze us. This year, it's not all about your "favorite things at 6 years old," it's transformed more into

TOP 10 THINGS to REMEMBER ABOUT YOU at 6 years old!

10. Lot's Of NON SERIOUS injuries and calls from the school nurse:
I know it has everything to do with being a six year old boy but it seems like almost every week you are banging your head in some which way or how and therefore it's not abnormal to have a message from the school nurse on my cell phone during the day that looks like this...

9. You continue to LOVE Christmas time and decorating the entire house:
You begged for a week before Thanksgiving to help but the lights up outside around the house with daddy. Inside, you were giddy as could be putting up the tree, as you wore your baseball gloves, to spread out the branches. You love opening every box of ornaments and reminiscing about when you made them and where they all came from. You really are a breath of fresh air and prevent the mundane work/stresses of the holidays from entering our house.  You are just as excited to help put up Addie's tree as you are your own. And your passion for "Will Ferral" our Elf On The Shelf from the North Pole has continued to grow... you get up and without even a good morning, you are off to find where Will is. This morning on your birthday, Will decorated your door and waited for you to come out so we could ALL wish you a HAPPY 6th BIRTHDAY... you thought that was SO COOL!

8. Our little "RULE-BOUND" son is having some problems listening at school:
Thank goodness it's nothing serious, but in your first four months of Kindergarten, your dad and I have been shocked that you, of all people, are having problems not listening while at school. Majority of weeks in the last couple of month, Carter has had write ups in his folder for talking while sitting on the rug, not listening to the teacher when she tells him to stop talking on the way to lunch, etc... I document this now for perspective as we know you are excelling in school and mainly because we are amazed at how your daily punishments in the evenings, like going to your room/bed straight after dinner any time you are bad, having to put $2.00 of your "spending money" into your "savings," part of your piggy bank, having to give us back a Spirit Stick, not being able to attend fun, family dinners like Magic Shows, etc... have NOT WORKED. Blake and I finally realized that you don't really care about the negative consequences of the bad behavior but instead the positive consequences of your good behavior. So we have changed our game plan and you get to win back Spirit Sticks, get to buy your lunch at school or open a gift the week before your birthday party each day you don't have a write up for a bad decision and for the MOST PART, it has worked perfectly the last couple of weeks. YOU ARE DEFINITELY A POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT KIDDO! **Update: Blake spent an entire day in his classroom today, as a WATCH D.O.G. with Carter's class and said he is the least of the issues in that crazy five and six year old room, so we may loosen up on him a little!**

7. You love any little gadget or toy!
At six, you still aren't into any one big thing like video games (thank God,) TV, play guns, superheros or such but rather ANY little, most of the the time CHEAP, gadget toy.  For several months you have really been into fishing and with fishing comes all kinds of little pieces. Meme nailed your birthday gift this year with a fishing vest stuffed with all kinds of little fishing lures and other items.  You love flashlights, your rock collection, walkie talkies, play money and coins and whatever is the latest thing you can get your hand on. Most nights, we find you have one or two in bed with you as you sleep. You love to organize your fishing tackle bag.

This is what is currently in your "gadget" basket in your room.

6. You are "Go-Go" at 150% vs. Sleep On Command
The energy you encapsulate at this age is amazing and I know that is what gets you into trouble in a classroom. When you are doing something you love, you are able to focus 100% of your energy on that. It could be building a 100 piece Lego Fire Truck, helping your dad fix something, doing your math homework that you love or out on the sports field. Your recent first season of flag football is wrapping up and you are such a natural. It works out perfectly to serve as a energy release three times a week of sprinting back and forth. You cheer with joy when you find out you are defense and say you, "love to get flags!" (You are really good at it too!) On the opposite side of the spectrum, even though you have always been a perfect sleeper, the past three months, you can fall asleep ANYWHERE and on command. Daddy has had to carry you to bed more in the last three months than he ever had to the last three YEARS! Once you are out, boy you are OUT! You can easily crawl into bed at 7:15 and be out cold in less than two minutes when I walk into to tuck you in most nights. You sleep soundly until wake-up time of 6:40AM now and recently you are having problems wanting to pop out of bed then, with nearly 12 hours of sleep!

In the picture below, while on a recent trip, Carter was really passed out but Addie was definitely faking it for a free ride into the hotel.

My Mema (9.9.15 - 11.4.12)

On November 5, 2012, my amazing Mema (Willie Mime Johnson) passed away. At 97 year old by only a month, it feels odd to say that it happened so fast but in all reality it did. Maybe it was a blessing but my heart can't help but hurt as I type this opening sentence and tears start to pour out of my eyes. I've waited almost five weeks to journal this in hopes I might be able to keep it together enough to share what I want Carter, Addie, our unborn child and their children to remember about this incredible woman whom helped raise me.

On Saturday morning, my mom had told Blake and I that she wasn't having a good couple of days with severe pain. We were trying to find the perfect time to take the kid's by in their Halloween costumes Saturday or Sunday. I had just sat and talked with her as normal that past Tuesday morning. Then Thursday mid morning when I stopped by for a visit, her nurse had told me she had been in some pain so had decided to take a hydrocodone and was still asleep. Little did I know that Tuesday morning would be the last time I would ever hold a conversation with her or Thursday would be the last time I would see her peacefully sleeping. I'll never forget that Sunday morning I walked into her apartment with my mom and how I saw my strong and courageous Mema.

I want to share what I said at the funeral just four days after she left us on this Earth.

"This past Sunday afternoon, I witnessed first hand, what the circle of life is all about. As I sat there, six months pregnant, beside my mother with my hand on her back as she desperately tried to calm my Mema during in her last few hours, I experienced what life is about from beginning to end. I’m not going to lie, it was an emotional experience I don't want to experience often in life but I know it's an important part of growing up.

Speaking of my mom and I know this is on behalf of my sweet Mema, Cheryl was everything to her and she didn’t disappoint her in the last couple of years. My mom dedicated her every waking hour to making sure that Mema was well taken care of and above all was able to stay in her same apartment complex that she had lived in for twenty-seven years. Many nights, even sleeping on the old couch, my mom never wavered once knowing that she wasn’t going to remove her mother from the environment that helped her thrive. I know Mema knew how lucky she was for that and wow!... What 97 year old lady can say she lived independently in her same home until she took her last breath… and it’s all because of Cheryl!

What will I remember about Mema?? So much! Her crystal blue eyes, her LONG perfectly manicured nails, her handwriting, her worn blue chair with the TV always on and the latest newspaper at her feet, the peppermints on her coffee table, bacon wrapped fillet minons she’d pan fry from HEB and Sprite she always had when my tummy was upset.

As each of you know, this lady was strong and independent and in my thirty-two years of loving her, I NEVER heard her complain about something going on in her own life. She was always there to listen to others vent their own problems. But in the last several years, she had really become the heart and main connection that our entire family used. During my regular weekly visits, even when life was crazy and I hadn’t talked to my sister in months or my mom in a couple of weeks, she was the one central point that we all, always, checked in with. She knew everything about everyone and I would be filled in on one visit on Erin and Matt and Joe and Cheryl’s where-abouts.

There are numerous pictures I have in my head that I will want to always remember Mema for, but my husband Blake, reminisced about the time just THREE short years ago at the park next door to my house, where Carter had talked his Mema into sliding down the slide with him. So here is this 94 year old flying down behind her three year old great-grandson! That’s what I will remember and I pray that each of you lock in your own special memory of this amazing lady!"

  It was harder to get through those words than I had initially thought but it felt good to share them with everyone there. I pray that my three children and their grand children will be able to look back on that and see a glimpse of what their "Mema" had meant to everyone around her.

My Mema had moved to San Antonio from Alice when I was around six years and old and my little sister, Erin was just shy of one. My parents had just separated and my mom's dad (Mema's husband) Charles had just passed away. Mema moved into Mariposa Apartments, only about a five minute drive from our Old Moss house and became my mom's rock and therefore both Erin and I's, as well. When my mom had to travel to Dallas or New York or stay late for inventory, it was Mema who was always there caring for us. She made life seem smooth for Erin and I, in what I am sure could have been, a severely hectic time. She was selfless and never complained. She really was our rock.

Mema had been a school teacher for years and years, both in San Antonio and later Alice, TX before she retired. She lived through World War II and knew a time hardly anyone alive can recall filled with war and rations. Many times, Mema told her she would send her sugar and butter ration coupons home to her mom while she was working soon after college. I can only imagine how living through those times made you tough.

Mema was the oldest of three girls and a boy named "Bubba." I remember quite well her youngest sister, Mary Nell who lived in Vernon. I would spend a couple of weeks up there in North Texas each summer with Mema watching Bold and The Beautiful, Young and The Restless and As The World Turns. Her middle sister, Miram, the kindest, sweetest lady alive lived in Flowermound with her husband Floyd. She just passed away earlier this year due to brain cancer and I am sure Mema seeing her last baby sibling die, it had to be harder than words could describe. But I never saw Mema shed a tear or even want to talk about it.

In the last twelve hours at her apartment that Sunday evening, I just looked into those amazing blue eyes that were wide open, locked on me when I was in the room and repeatedly told her how much I loved her, how much she means to me, how amazing she is, how I will never forget her and how she has done everything for us and it's okay to let go now and be with her husband, two sisters and brother in Heaven. It hurt begging her to let go but it felt right after all she had dedicated much of her life to us. 

I often ask myself over the last five weeks, will it get easier? Can I ever think of her again and not instantly go back to those last ever twelve hours of her life here on Earth? I want to remember the nearly thirty-three years of the real Mema... the strong, courageous and steadfast Mema but for now I am trying to soak in the emotions of this first BIG and CLOSE death I have felt.

Things that will always remind me of my Mema:
#1660 (her same gate code I pushed for 28 years), 828-5416 her phone number I dialed the same amount of years, individually bacon wrapped filets and canned green beans she would cook for me every single time I spent the night while growing up, sitting down in front of the TV around that dark octagon coffee table, Sprite whenever I was there and especially if my tummy was upset, her telling me all the time how "lucky I was to find Blake!" her crytal blue eyes, her long perfectly manicured nails, her amazing hand writing and how she addressed all of our wedding invitations in 2005, how she always kept us all updated on the news and what was going on, how sharp her mind always was even until the end, the amount of amazing friends that she had in and around the apartments that were flooding her apartment in the last week to say goodbye, her telling us the LBJ story of how they closed down the lake when VP Johnson was there and they got stopped by the police for being out on the lake and most importantly how she was always there for me, my sister and my mom, not matter what.

Visiting Santa

While Carter was on his very first camping and hunting trip with Blake, Addie and I hit up Santa's Winter Wonderland where our sweet neighbor, Barrett, was playing the important role of Joseph in the Nativity. It was a wonderful pancake breakfast, complete with tons of arts and crafts, cake walks, face painting and of course SANTA!

The memorable story here was my strong, independent, scared of nothing 4.5 year old started crying as soon as we walked up to get in the short line to visit with Santa. When I asked her why she was crying, she said, "because I can't remember everything that Carter wants me to tell Santa he wants." It was the sweetest words ever and I couldn't believe she was so worked up about it. I convinced her to tell Santa that he should just be getting Carter's letter and to look for it in the mail which he happily agreed to!

A Week's Worth Of Christmas Decorating!

It was a very relaxing process this year, we did a little every day.

 Every year the kids are more and more into it.

 Then we moved on to Addie's own personalized tree filled with ornaments she loves and has made.

 And finally... turning the lights on!

 So pround of her tree!

 The next day, it was Carter's turn.

 He did learn a balancing lesson this year when he tree tumbled over when he put ALL the decorations on one side!